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We went to the hospital where she'd been taken a while later, all of us still crying. I was a zombie following blindly, shadowing my parents as they talked quietly to a doctor, then shuffling without thought along as we went to the morgue. My mom made me wait outside and I was more distraught at being left alone. A nurse tried to console me, but it took two orderlies to restrain me when I rushed for the door to see my sister.I found out later that her body had been mangled and broken. I suppose I'm glad not to have seen my beautiful sister that way. But in those days and weeks which followed, I couldn't help feeling a distinct loss at not saying goodbye, and I blamed myself for being the one to talk Jackie into trying to visit that weekend. It had been my pleading, my selfish need to see her again, which had led her to beg favors of her friends, finally getting a ride home to be with me.I cried with my head on my arms on the dining room table. I was aware that Kira stood next to me,. Amazing, that only onetime was all it took for me to know I liked having sex with other guys. After that first time, when Kenny sucked my cock, I couldn't stop thinking about how I felt. I was awake half the night, going over and over what had taken place. I got hard thinking about the look in Kenny's eyes as he looked up at me with my cock in his mouth. The intensity of that look surprised me. Like he knew I wasn't like the others, at the same moment I didn't know I wasn't like the others. What I felt at that moment was a heighten sense of sexual arousal, somehow I was pleased and relaxed with the idea of having sex with another guy. I liked it very much. It was more than just getting a blow job to me. After the sex we talked for awhile. I actually liked Kenny.We met the next day for an encore. This time I brought an old pillow for him to kneel on. Kenny enjoyed cock sucking and I didn't want his kneeling on the cement floor to take away from his pleasure or mine. .
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